Scripture References:
Proverbs 13:20 “He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.”
Proverbs 18:24 “A man that hath friends must show himself friendly, and there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother.”
Grace To You, brothers and sisters! Today was a long Friday at Mule Creek, but a most blessed one. Due to the rollercoaster of Covid, I haven’t been able to meet with Freddy until today. When he arrived, he took a moment, gazing at the huge visiting room with bewilderment. Like so many before him, Freddy had never had a visit. He was a little emotional, as he greeted me with a big hug.
The hours flew by as we covered the bases for his years behind bars, As I listened to him speak of his past and upbringing, one consistent theme was all too apparent. He kept talking about how he had allowed the wrong people into his life without recognizing the consequences. When he realized his so-called friends were no friends at all, it was far too late. Freddy was doing a life sentence. I know I talk about this all the time, but Solomon’s counsel was as important and potentially life changing as anything he ever said.
This principle applies to all of us, not just those behind bars. How many of you can think back about someone you brought into your circle of friends, or that of your children who turned out to be nothing but toxic trouble. Solomon knew this and he wanted to teach his children that in many cases, “you become like those you hang around.”
You are the company you keep. This well-known saying is a short and weak version of Solomon's true warning. Here is one of the most valuable proverbs for your advancement.
Though you may be wise, foolish friends will eventually destroy you. Though you may be foolish, wise friends will show and teach you success. This is an easy way to prosper.
What a simple rule for wisdom and life! Get rid of foolish friends and choose the wise ones. You will grow in wisdom and avoid much trouble in life. Good athletes use superior competition to bring out their best, even if it means frequent training losses.
Giving up your friends is hard. You may believe the lie so you can resist foolish friends. Or you may find your best friends are fools. Or your foolish friends may be popular, costing you status with peers. Or you may naively think you can help foolish friends.
Every time a lifer friend is about to be paroled; I remind them of the critical nature of making the right associations. Old friends, mostly the wrong friends, have a way of finding you once you're back in the land of the free. As hard as it may be, they must let them know that as a follower of Christ, they can never go back to their old ways. In almost every case, that means a clean break.
The Bible declares, “Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners” (I Cor 15:33). The warning about deception is to save you, since many think friends are not dangerous. But if you allow an evil input in your life, you will lose your good manners.
How did Lot, Abraham’s nephew, end up in a cave with nothing but his two daughters pregnant by his incest? How? He moved toward Sodom and made friends in that wicked city (Genesis 13:12). What a disaster for him, his wife, and five daughters. Be not deceived!
The best parents monitor every friend, for foolish friends are a great threat to children and youth. Many decent parents make schooling decisions to protect their children, but fail to monitor individual friends from school, work, church, family, sports, and neighbors.
This is one of the most important things you can do for the success of your children. Read the proverb again. The results are certain, but children and youth are not wise enough to choose their own friends, so you must reduce their choices to those meeting the criteria.
Still a teenager, our precious Laura allowed herself to fall into a toxic relationship with an unbeliever; one that ended in the ultimate sorrow. The Lord wants His children to be yoked with those who share a deep and abiding faith in Christ Jesus. That must always be the focal point of any relationship that could potentially end in marriage. If you violate God’s law in this area, it is only a matter of time before you will suffer the consequences. Those of us who are parents have the solemn responsibility of teaching these truths to our children from the earliest age. It will pay great dividends.
Fools cannot be real friends to a child of God. It is impossible, for they are incompatible by nature. They have nothing of value to offer. What is a fool? They do not fear God (Proverbs 1:7; Romans 16:17-18). Ignore your feelings or past history and cut off your foolish friends.
David rejected fools (Psalms 1:1; 101:1-8; 119:115); he chose friends of those fearing God (Psalms 119:63,79). Did he have good friends? He had Jonathan (I Sam 18:1-4; 20:16-17; 23:16; 2 Samuel 1:26)! He had King Hiram (I Kings 5:1)! He had Ittai the Gittite (2 Samuel 15:21)!
How can you get rid of foolish friends? Be unavailable. Or hang around wise people, and foolish friends will flake off, because they do not like wise people. Or say you cannot do former activities due to your convictions as a Christian. There are times when we have to tell that foolish person that the relationship is over.
As hard as it is, we may ask the Lord, Father, how can I find faithful friends; those who love you and will be an ongoing encouragement to me? Sometimes it takes a little effort but is well worth the price. Lord willing, you have the opportunity week in and week out to meet faithful men and women of God in your local church. Invite someone you’d like to get to know over for dinner. Back in Texas, we had a practice of doing this regularly, inviting a number of people from church to a backyard picnic.
Godly men are lovers of good men, so you must learn to discriminate wisely (Titus 1:8; Psalms 16:3). Men can easily be ranked on a scale of virtue and wisdom, so wise men move toward those on the top of the scale, even selecting friends from a church’s membership.
How far should you flee fools? Very far! Do not go in their direction (Psalms 1:1; Proverbs 1:10,15; 4:15; 9:6), and have no fellowship with them (Proverbs 14:7; Am 3:3; Eph 5:11-12)! Your soul and future are at stake. Find the way of good men and go in that direction (Proverbs 2:20-21).
Marriage is picking a companion for life! Use this proverb for a spouse. My children did. If you do, wisdom will guide and bless your marriage and family. If you do not, both will be severely damaged.
The friends you need above all others are God Himself and Jesus Christ. Abraham was God’s friend for carefully obeying Him and passionately worshiping Him (James 2:23). Jesus loved Lazarus, Mary, and Martha for similar reasons (John 11:1-5). What about you?
Give us wisdom, O Lord, as we go through life making friends. Lead us to those who share our same passion for you and your Word. Give us the wisdom to recognize early on those relationships which can lead us down the wrong path. Give us the strength to break free from such relationships. Our desire is to honor you, O Lord, in every area of our life, including those we choose as friends.
From:
Fight the Good Fight of Faith & Life Journal
by Gregg Harris
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