“Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.” Proverbs 31:29
“He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord” Proverbs 18:22
Have you ever imagined what a perfect world would look like? Everything would go your way, and life would be on auto-pilot. Work would be easy; It would almost be like living in an uncorrupted world. There would be no sickness, pain, sin, or trouble; great food is everywhere; the world would be your oyster. You’ve got the wisdom of Solomon and Almighty God is your friend; you can live forever!
Hmmm, something seem wrong? Anything missing? Adam did not have a wife – a woman of his own. The LORD God said his perfect situation was not good, even though Adam and He were friends (Gen 2:18). Adam needed a perfect companion to help him maximize his life in this world. So God made a woman from a rib, introduced her to Adam, and arranged the first marriage.
Two are better than one
Regardless of what good is written about the single life, God said it was not good. Two are better than one for many reasons (Eccl 4:9-12; I Cor 7:2-5). They share the results of labor, help each other through difficulties, complement each other’s abilities, help fight enemies, and have a regular and committed lover. If this superiority of marriage were true in perfect Eden, how much more in our sinful world?
Solomon made an interesting declaration in Proverbs 18:22. This verse rejects the claim that God considers a celibate life "holier" than one including marriage. The "favor" mentioned here does not mean that a married man is more loved by God. Rather, the Hebrew term implies that God is "pleased" by such a choice.
My daily reading of five Psalms followed by a Proverb found me in the familiar chapter thirty-one. Most Christian men are familiar with the last chapter in Proverbs, as it tells us about the characteristics of the Godly, virtuous woman. Most of us can recite by memory the next to last verse, “beauty is vain, and charm is deceit, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.” Let’s look at the author for a moment.
King Lemuel is mentioned as the author of Proverbs 31, at least of the first nine verses. Proverbs 31:1 introduces this section: “The sayings of King Lemuel—an inspired utterance his mother taught him.” So, as Lemuel was growing up, his mother gave him sage advice, which he later arranged in poetic form and recorded for the ages. The whole process was supervised by the Holy Spirit, and the result was “an inspired utterance”—Holy Scripture (see 2 Peter 1:21).
We don’t know much about King Lemuel, other than what is revealed in Proverbs 31. The name Lemuel means “for God” or “devoted to God.” Based on the one passage attributed to Lemuel, we know that Lemuel was a king, he had a wise mother, and he wrote some poetry. Many commentators have surmised that Lemuel is actually King Solomon—in which case the mother would be Bathsheba. It could be that Lemuel was a pet name for Solomon, used by his mother in tender address, and that Solomon wrote down her advice in the manner she would have expressed it. Another theory is that Lemuel is actually King Hezekiah. A third theory is that Lemuel and his mother are fictional characters created by Solomon as a picture of an ideal king and queen mother.
The counsel from King Lemuel’s mother is good advice for any leader of men. She warns Lemuel not to fall into the trap of immorality; chasing after women will sap a king’s strength (Proverbs 31:3). Then she warns her son against the dangers of alcohol; a drunken king is never a good king. A ruler who craves beer and wine will pervert justice and act lawlessly (verses 4–7).
Finally, King Lemuel’s mother instructs her son about the necessity of true justice: “Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, / for the rights of all who are destitute. / Speak up and judge fairly; / defend the rights of the poor and needy” (Proverbs 31:8–9). May the Lord grant us many rulers like King Lemuel who heed this advice of a queen mother on ruling well.
Christian woman, do you want to be the best of the best? Before us is a portrait of a very exceptional woman. Thankfully, there have been many good and virtuous women. But there have not been many like the virtuous woman of Proverbs 31. 3
This description, composed by a king’s mother to identify the kind of woman her son the king should marry, is a detailed list of the marks of a perfect wife. This kind of woman earns the praise of God and men. Literally, we know there is no such thing as a perfect anyone, but I think of this woman in the same context of how God described Job to Satan. This perfect woman could perhaps better be described as blameless, and upright in every way.
Both children and husband laud such an extraordinary woman (Pr 31:28). This verse has the glowing and tender words of her husband, as this is the only verse in the lengthy description in the second person. Having known this woman intimately and personally for many years, he praises her for the wonderful companion and helper she was and continued to be. He rightfully exalts her to a place of preeminence over all other women.
This woman is no average virtuous woman – she is overwhelmingly exceptional. The standard here is not a low bar; it is very high. This is a woman fit for a king. Remember, King Lemuel’s mother drew this portrait (Pr 31:1-2). What a glorious sketch of the perfect woman! For ambitious women, your goal should be to learn all there is to know about this woman and copy her life. Why settle for less? Being second best is losing!
The detailed picture of this wife overwhelms most women. They see her amazing daily diligence, tireless industry, domestic foresight, business savvy, sartorial skills, decorating finesse, creative planning, sweet spirit, moral integrity, satisfied husband, spiritual zeal, and happy family – and they forfeit! It is impossible to do all that, they say. But it is possible, if a woman were totally committed to the goal, with the strength of Jesus Christ. I’m blessed to be able to boast on a wife that is very close to the description given here. Are you husbands equally as blessed? If so, then count your many blessings, count them one by one as the song goes, for indeed you truly are highly blessed.
The King is describing a woman whose daily duties are performed as a labor of love. Honestly, I would have a hard time doing many of the tasks that Cynthia does, EVERY SINGLE DAY. Just a couple of examples and I won’t belabor the point. Her daily routine is washing 20 pounds of urine soaked bedding and shouting for joy on the rare occasional day where Marshall’s bed is dry. We both have to be careful when Marshall has gotten up early and trotted off into the bathroom, for he may have left a surprise. Countless times, he tries to take off his diaper in the morning, and he obediently puts it in the little garbage, but he gives little thought to the huge “cowpie” that he leaves behind.
I don’t like bright lights, and on numerous occasions I enter the bathroom, and I forget to take a look, and it’s too late, because I have just met with Marshall’s surprise. Occasionally, it’s Cynthia, but she is more careful and rarely makes the mistake. I can not bend down to clean it up, so that chore falls to my beloved wife. No grumbling or complaining, just attending to the duties of the moment. Sorry for the graphic image, but it's life in the Harris household, and my wife amazingly attends to whatever comes her way. A perfect woman; no, - but pretty darn close. A woman who fears the Lord, YES!
Rather than resent it, women should thank the Lord for such a clear description of the perfect woman. You cannot match her in one day, week, or month. But diligent efforts will accumulate quickly. Her reputation is achievable. But you cannot even get close with less than all-out effort. The sleepy life of leisure of the average loser is out the window.
Why not be the best? Athletes run to win a prize (I Cor 9:24-27). Who runs to lose? Why be an average wife? Second place is like third place, or last place. Only one wins, so run to win. Crowns are won by temperance in all things – and the virtuous woman is a temperate woman – highly disciplined in self-denial, diligence, graciousness, etc., etc.
Christian woman! Your Creator and all men and women are watching. Your husband and children are watching. How do you approach your day? There is hardly anything more beautiful and praiseworthy than a great woman, especially today. How will you respond? God and this queen mother wrote your job description, and you can fulfill it. You can earn the precious praise of this proverb and make the world a better place, starting today.
I couldn’t finish without a quote from the Prince of Preachers, CH Spurgeon.
“I have heard of some good old woman in a cottage, who had nothing but a piece of bread and a little water, and lifting up her hands, she said, as a blessing … what, all this, and Christ too.”
Final Thought with a little humor.
A couple, both sixty years of age, had been married for 30 years. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, congratulated them for their many years of marriage, then told them that he’d like to give each of them their heart’s desire. The wife spoke first, saying that she had always wanted to travel. The angel flashed his mighty sword and presented her with tickets to a cruise around the world. The husband pulled the angel aside and said, “I’ve always wanted to be married to 5 someone 30 years younger. The angel slashed his mighty sword and declared, “Sir, you are now 90 years old.” – Be careful what you ask for!
From: Fight the Good Fight of Faith & Life Journal: By Gregg Harris
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