There’s Only One Thing To Do When You Encounter An Angry Person:
Run, Run, and Run Faster!
Scripture Reference: – Proverbs 22:24-25 – Proverbs 29:22
“Make no friendship with an angry man, And with a furious man do not
go - lest you learn his ways and set a snare for your soul.”
“An angry man stirs up strife, And a furious man abounds in
transgression”
These few simple lines have value beyond their words. This principle may seem simple but here lies is one of the most powerful, possible life changing Proverbs written by the wisest man who ever lived. I’m not exaggerating here. Thousands of people would be alive today, millions could have avoided the nightmare of divorce had they not allowed someone prone to anger into their lives. Solomon knew it and he wanted to make sure his children got the message. This is why he was so graphic in his description of an angry person.
This advice counsels against becoming closely associated with someone who cannot control their temper. The more closely one is connected to an easily angered person, the more risk they experience. One of my favorite Proverbs I’ve used in prison ministry for years is Proverbs 13:20. Here, we learn what can potentially happen if you bring one of these people into your inner circle of friends. DON’T DO IT! Although you don't see it at the time, becoming connected to an angry person is a good way of becoming like them.
Every believer, especially counselors. Should commit this verse to memory. “He that walks with wise men shall become wise, but a companion of fools will be destroyed.” This is street talk for….”You become like those you hang around with.” The last thing you want is for someone’s anger to rub off on you. Prisoners who have severe anger problems get in more fights, have more disciplinary write ups, and spend more time in prison.
Finding solid friendships in prison can often seem impossible. You don’t know who to trust, who you can let into the inner circle of your life. I tell guys all the time, if your cellie or someone else you're getting to know has a hot temper and is prone to anger, get away from them while you can. They can lead you down a rabbit hole you’ll never climb out of.
If you are the father of a young lady who is approaching marital age and is dating, you must include in your marital, fatherly counsel to avoid any man, no matter how charming, who has an obvious problem with anger. Marry that man and you will live to regret the day.
The King wanted his son Rehoboam to learn that fools are quick to express their anger, but wise people are patient and control themselves. If a ruler listens to lies, all his officials will be evil. You never profit from hanging around an angry person.
(Editor's note: "Fools find no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing their opinion." Proverbs 18:2 CEB )
Maintaining a friendship with an angry person — someone who is hot-tempered —endangers our souls. The Holy Spirit warns us repeatedly that we should not admire or associate with angry people. Let's heed thewarning and teach those we influence to do the same!
A Quick Look at Proverbs 22:24-25
The two parts of this verse seem to imply that both friendship and even business dealings are to be avoided. That doesn't mean we should never interact at all with anyone who has a temper (1 Corinthians 5:9-10). Rather, it means we should seek to avoid such persons as much as we can.
The following verse details some of the ways in which a "hothead," or an anger-prone person, brings trouble. Bad tempers can lead to fights and drag others into them (Proverbs 29:22). Those who lose control of their tempers often accumulate enemies who not only oppose the hothead (Proverbs 14:17), but naturally come to hate anyone associated with them. Further, maintaining an intimate friendship with such a person means accepting a bad influence (Proverbs 13:20). Their bad temper can corrupt others into acting the same way (1 Corinthians 15:33).
Can you imagine bringing this kind of person into a marriage? You should have learned their ways, habits and how they react to everyday problems. Every father in the course of his marital counseling should make this subject of extreme importance. We have four beautiful daughters, and Oh how I remember telling them to be on the lookout for anyone they are dating who is prone to anger. When you detect that it is an ongoing problem, you must do anything in your power to break off the relationship and get away from them. I promise you it will be one of the wisest decisions of your life, even though you may not realize it at the time.
There is a domestic violence call in the U.S. every 9 seconds, a total of more than 53 million every year. The number of homicides are staggering. Angry people often resort to violence as that is the only way they know to express their rage. For women, even if you think you’ve found the ultimate prince charming – if he is an angry man, get away from him while you still can. Don’t let your feelings get in the way of doing the right thing!
The Bible clearly warns against unrighteous anger. Not all anger is immoral, as Paul stated, "Be angry and do not sin" (Ephesians 4:26). Yet anger is closely tied to sinful attitudes. Further in the same chapter Paul commands: "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice" (Ephesians 4:31). Associating closely with a wrathful person also contradicts the broad concept behind 2 Corinthians 6:14: "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? What fellowship has light with darkness?"
Solomon was the king of illustrations and metaphors. He could've picked a hundred ways of describing angry people. He chose to call them “fools of fury.”
There is nothing godly, noble, or manly about them, no matter how you try to justify their anger or make excuses for it. Angry men are fools. If you want to be a wise man, you will avoid them at all costs, or you run the risk of learning their hateful and wicked habits to the destruction of your soul (Proverbs 22:25; 13:20).
Angry men are fools. If you want a peaceful life, you will avoid them, for they will bring never-ending conflict into your life (Proverbs 15:18; 19:19; 29:2). Angry men cannot learn new ways of living, so you will be required to get them out of trouble over and over. The best choice is to realize they are helpless slaves of depraved emotions and avoid them.
You do not have a right to any friends you wish. God has authority to limit your friends. Wise men appreciate His wisdom about friends, so they choose them accordingly. "Do not deceive yourself; evil communications corrupt good manners" (1 Cor 15:33). Angry men will tempt you to learn angry habits yourself, and they will cause you a lot of trouble.
Anger is in the bosoms of fools (Ecclesiastes 7:9). Wise men defer anger (Proverbs 19:11). Wise men rule their spirits and are slow to anger (Proverbs 14:29). Why? Because they know that truly great men know how to rule their spirits and avoid anger (Proverbs 16:32). Why? Because they know that anger never helps them work the righteousness of God (James 1:9). Why? Because they know that angry haste in any such matter will bring them shame (Proverbs 25:8).
Angry men often glory in their quick temper as a sign of manliness or toughness, but only fools get angry quickly, because they are slaves to their base passions (Proverbs 14:17,29). They cannot rule their spirits, so God and Solomon compare them to defenseless cities without walls – any slight event will trigger their total collapse and ruin (Proverbs 25:28 "A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.") For lack of self-control they're "sitting-duck" to attacks from without (demonic) - and attacks from within (the flesh). Truth is, unrighteous anger is vulnerability and weakness.
The lesson is clear enough. What will you do with it? Cut off acquaintances or friends who get angry quickly or often. They do not deserve friends. Let them live and die alone. Angry men should be left to rot in their own fury. Solomon’s reason is plain enough in the following verse, “Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul” (Proverbs 22:25).
The lesson is clear enough. Avoid angry men. Do not befriend them,
associate with them, or be connected with them in any way . Do not go
into partnership with an angry man, for you will live to regret it.. Do not
marry an angry man, for he will cause you great pain. Do not do business with
an angry man, if you can avoid it. Why cause yourself a perpetual headache? Do
not even go to dinner with such a person (Proverbs 17:1; 21:9).
Jesus taught that anger without cause is murder in the sight of God (Matthew 5:21-22). Of course, the effeminate religionists and silly women of the present generation have removed these three words from their newfangled Bibles, leaving the verse to condemn any and all anger (2 Timothy 3:1-7). However, God and His prophets and apostles got angry at sin and sinners. Paul wrote that it was possible to be angry and not sin (Ephesians 4:26-27).
Fools sin every time they get angry, for they will not resolve their anger before the sun sets. By holding wrath and being angry often, they give place to the devil to enter them and wreak havoc in their hearts and minds. Their refusal to forgive others is one of Satan’s devices that allow him to take advantage of them (2 Corinthians 2:7-11). Safety from the devil requires full forgiveness from your heart immediately (Matthew 18:21-35).
Rather than choose angry men for friends or go places with furious men, choose godly men for your friends, and go with them to the house of God. True children of God do not get angry or furious. They are filled with love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and temperance (Galatians 5:22-23). Do these nine traits describe you? Do they describe your friends? Do they describe your church? They should.
Sin is contagious, but not virtue. You transfer sickness to others, but not health. Evil friends will corrupt you; but you will not convert evil friends. This is a law of wisdom and nature. Man defaults to sin, but never to virtue. Friendship and association with evil persons teach you wicked habits and trap your soul. Y ou are the company you keep.
This proverb is connected to the one before it, which condemns friendship
with angry men and association with furious men (Proverbs 22:24). Anger
and fury are marks of folly, which reveal the wicked character of men who
cannot rule their spirits (Proverbs 14:17; 16:32; Ecclesiastes 7:9; James
1:19-20). Godly men will steer a wide course away from such men.
Angry and furious men seldom have friends. They are resented, even by
natural men. But friendship overlooks or excuses the error you once despised.
Love is blind! The sin will then infect your conduct. You first make excuses,
then become numb, and before long overreact with him, then like him! Your
depraved soul can now fuel this new sinful habit.
One of Solomon’s key lessons for growing in wisdom is to avoid ungodly and wicked men (Proverbs 1:10-19; 4:14-17; 9:6; 13:20; 19:27). See the comments on Proverbs 13:20. His father David had taught this rule before (Psalm 1:1; 26:4-5; 101:3-8; 119:63). Even rulers, with great character and authority, must avoid bad influence by evil counselors (Proverbs 25:5).
This lesson has been observed by prudent men throughout their lives. Unprincipled friends destroy the integrity of the righteous. Saints learn a carnal approach to life, and they trap their souls with the pressure to compromise from friends. Israel did not destroy all the pagan nations of Canaan, and it cost them dearly this very way (Psalm 106:34-40).
Consider Solomon and his marriages. He made affinity with Pharaoh and married his daughter (1 Kings 3:1). And though this man was blessed with great wisdom and wrote this book and the next two books of the Bible, the evil women in his life corrupted his wisdom and ruined his soul (1 Kings 11:1-11; Ecclesiastes 7:26-29).
Marriage must be only in the Lord (1 Corinthians 7:39; 11:1). Believers must marry believers, and these believers must both be sold-out, on-fire, totally-committed disciples of Jesus Christ as measured by Scripture. God once destroyed the earth with the Flood for the sons of God marrying the daughters of the world (Genesis 6:1-3).
Paul warned, “Be not DECEIVED: evil communications corrupt good manners” (1 Corinthians 15:33). (Restated, "Do not be fooled. “Bad companions ruin good character.”" 1 Cor 15:33 GNT) Why the warning of deception? Your deceitful heart will say that you can still hold fast to your convictions with a less than perfect friend. But you cannot, and you will not. You are trying to protect foolish infatuation. Forsake the foolish, and LIVE (Proverbs 9:6).
Most nations are now obsessed with ecumenical fellowship between many denominations and doctrinal beliefs, all of which are an abomination to God. It does not matter what 15,000 pagans singing “Amazing Grace” sounds like. God condemns such associations. If a man or angel does not worship according to Paul’s gospel - REJECT him (Galatians 1:6-9). The Lord will do so very soon, so you might as well get the first lick in (1 Corinthians 16:22).
Parents have a grave responsibility to protect their children from evil companions. They must screen their friends and eliminate any that would not pull and push their character and conduct higher. Equal friends are of no value. If many parents practiced this rule, fools would have no friends, which is safe and appropriate justice for them.
Do you want a friend who will only teach you the way of righteousness and
holiness? Let the Lord Jesus Christ in for fellowship (Revelation 3:20). He
will provide sweet relief, constant comfort, and wise encouragement for your soul. Jesus will never leave or forsake you! His love is loyal, and He will bring you grace and truth. (John 1:14,17)
Final Thought
Although I didn’t say so at the onset, this devotional was intended primarily for believers who struggle with anger. Anger can be a complicated subject. Some people have horrific anger issues and don’t even know why. For many it’s because of some unforeseen circumstance in their life that has taken away their daily joy and causing them to only look at their daily circumstances. Angry people almost always struggle with contentment in life and resent specific people and all the factors that have led them to what their life looks like.
This was me.
40 years ago, and honestly I don’t even know why. I do know that my anger had an adverse effect on my wife and children, and for that, I have long ago repented. God rooted the anger out of my life as if it were a miracle. The Lord has humbled me in ways I could have never imagined and I’m thankful for His correcting rod and grace through it all.
If you have a loved one tonight, perhaps your spouse who is filled with anger, Pray for him or her relentlessly, committing his soul to the Lord. With anger often comes bitterness, and God can amputate these root sins out of his life. It takes much work, but with God, as you know, all things are possible.
Thank you Lord for Your work of grace in my life, for my salvation and for the effective work of Your Holy Spirit in my life. I pray You will come alongside Your children this night who struggle with rage and anger, and put within them a softened heart and spirit, with a desire to let go of anger, replacing it with peace and joy from the Lord. For your name's sake….Amen!
From: Fight the Good Fight of faith / Life Journal: By Gregg Harris
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