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HUMOR

In Perfect Peace Ministries:
Christian Pen Pals Mentoring Prisoners ONE on ONE

PREPARE TO:  LAUGH YOUR DERRIER OFF!

"My breath is OFFENSIVE to my wife..." Job19:17a CSB

Perhaps, Job, a little Listerine might help?

"And Rebekah lifted up her eyes... saw Isaac and... LIGHTED OFF THE CAMEL." Genesis 24:64 KJV

Say WHAT?  SMOKING... in the Bible?

  • What did the Buddhist tell the hot dog vendor?  /  “Make me one with everything.”

  • What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic?

    • Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there’s a dog.

  • What do you call a fake noodle? / An impasta.

  • A horse walks into a bar. / The bartender says, “Why the long face?”

  • A sandwich walks into a bar. / The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”

  • A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve your kind here.”

    • The mushroom leaves saying, “You’re missing out on a good time - I’m a really fungi.”

  • What happened when some lettuce, a faucet, and a tomato ran a race together?

    • The lettuce was ahead, the faucet was running, and the tomato was trying to ketchup.

  • Why won’t skeletons fight each other? / They just don’t have the guts.

TRUE STORY?   A couple, both sixty years of age, had been married for 30 years. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, congratulated them for their many years of marriage, then told them that he'd like to give each of them their heart's desire. The wife spoke first, saying that she had always wanted to TRAVEL.  The angel flashed his mighty sword and presented her with tickets to a cruise around the world. The husband pulled the angel aside and said, “I’ve always wanted to be married to someone 30 years younger." The angel flashed his mighty sword and declared, "Sir, you are now 90 YEARS OLD!"

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